Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.
— Oscar Wilde.
I am born and raised in Portland Oregon. I grew up with two adoring, but annoying siblings and two loving parents. I’ve been a Christian since I could remember. And we went to church pretty often. I always knew I was the sassiest one with the funny dancing, my brother was the quiet one with the big heart and my sister was, well the perfectionist with an attitude. My dad was the dorky soccer dad and my mom was the one with the most caring heart we know. She would do anything for you, even if it meant her life. I love my family more than anything. They are the ones that are always there for me. Even when I just want to kick my sister in the gut…I still love her. And even when I just want my brother to STOP making bad dad jokes in front of my friends, I still love him. And oh, of course my parents. Even when they annoy the heck out of me from time to time I still love them with all my heart.
So, pretty much I would say my life is pretty normal. I have a great family, with a great home and the best friends I could ask for. I still felt like there was something missing in my life. Some sort of missing piece to a Jigsaw puzzle. It was only until the summer of 2019, on July 10th. The thing that was missing, was my connection with God. Sure I went to church sort of often and I preyed before meals and when I was sick or a family member was sick, but when I went to church the words the sermon would say just seemed to go over my head.
I go to this camp every year since I was in the 5th grade. It’s been my favorite camp and I’ve made un-breakable friendships. When I was at Keats camps I felt like God was more present with me. I think thats why I had this urge to go back every year. When I would come back from camp I would kind of in a way forget about God. Not legit forget him, but his presence. I would stop preying other than meals and everything would go back to normal. All the drama with friends, the posts on instagram “How many likes did she get?”, “I wish I had that”, “I wish my parents would do that”. The constant comparisons I would make. When I needed to learn to just be my darn incredible self. Thats why “Be yourself; everyone else was taken” is one of my favorite quotes. It gives me reminders to just BE ME! I didn’t realize how many times I would compare myself to other people until I went away to camp this year. And It just felt good being away from all the drama and the views and the likes. Sometimes I would just think to myself of how a brat I sound or how unsatisfied I am. And its true. I will never be satisfied. Humans never will.
One night at Keats I had one of my counselors prey for me after worship. I asked her to prey about how I wished things back in Portland would be different and I wanted to notice God more and I wanted him to be present when I got back home. I close my eyes and she starts preying. I did my own mini preyer while she was preying for me. I told God that I hoped and that I hoped that he would be present when I got home. When he was around and when I was at Keats everything just seemed better. I stopped my mini preyer and continued to listen to hers. Out of the blue I just felt something in my gut. I started crying. I didn’t know why. I wasn’t sad or upset about anything. It just happens. Later, during cabin talk we were taking about our quote on quote “Jesus moments” if you know what that means. The counselors were taking about theirs and sharing their stories. I thought I just hadn’t gotten mine yet. “Maybe when I’m older” I thought. Then a few days later I realized the night when I had broken down for no reason was my moment and he was there, with me.
The rest of camp was amazing and I had the time of my life. I didn’t miss my parents or most of my friends at all. When it was time to leave I didn’t want to go. I wanted to stay in the place I was the happiest. I was also anxious to get back, wondering what it would be like. I had also gone to camp with one of my closest friends Etta. She made camp ten times better than it normally is. On the way home we told my mom all about camp and how fun it was. About halfway through the ride home my mom gave us our phones back. Right when I looked at mine I saw a text “So and So called you this”. I got pretty upset. I wasn’t even upset about one of my closest friends calling me a name. I was upset about how I look at my phone and I already people coming at me about some drama that happened. I just wished I was back at camp. Where there was no phones, new people and a fresh start.
Later during the car ride I still tried to ignore the messages. They kept getting me all worked up, but then I decided that I’d had enough. I popped in my ear buds and started listening to one of the songs we sang at camp. I stopped looking at my phone and looked at the environment around me. The big tall trees, the orange and pink sunset and the cars racing by. I knew that when I got home things would be different…
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